The Relativity of Opposites – Talk 6

 00:00:00 – Introduction and Context 

00:02:00 – Zhuangzi and the Relativity of Opposites 

00:06:50 – The Practice of RAIN (Recognize, Accept, Inquire, Nurture) 

00:11:40 – A Practical Example of RAIN in Relationship 

00:14:00 – Seeing the Flower Before It Buds: Pain vs. Suffering 

00:16:00 – Perspective, Politics, and the Valley of the Universe 

00:18:40 – Perception and the Story We Add (The Dumpster Story) 

00:20:00 – Mantra, Mortality, and Kindness 

00:22:20 – Two Cultures in Collision 

00:23:20 – Zen and the 1960s Counterculture: A Story from San Francisco 

00:27:40 – Flowing Like Water: Six Features of the Tao 

Introduction and Context

Lily introduces Tim Burkett as a former guiding teacher of the Minnesota Zen Meditation Center, someone who helped build it over decades and continues to teach and mentor there. Tim notes that this is his next-to-last talk in a series on Zhuangzi, and that he plans to speak next on The Secret of the Golden Flower, a later Taoist text written centuries after Zhuangzi.

He begins with a core quotation from Zhuangzi:

“Everything in itself is both good and bad, right and wrong, useful and useless.”

He pairs this with Shakespeare:

“Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

These two lines frame the entire talk.

Zhuangzi and the Relativity of Opposites

We often cannot control what happens externally, but we can always work with what happens internally. No one can take away our power to choose our thoughts and our focus.

Tim reflects on recent political turmoil and protests. He contrasts divisive chanting rooted in anger with quieter, peaceful gatherings marked by solidarity and community care. In the latter, he sees something Zhuangzi would approve of: people moving beyond narrow dualistic thinking.

Labeling something “unfair,” even if true, can fuel suffering. Zhuangzi teaches us to move beyond rigid dualities and into a more spacious awareness.

He introduces the image of the sage’s mind as a still pond mirror—reflecting everything clearly without distortion. Anger and fear are not excluded; they are reflected without resistance or indulgence.

The mind aligned with the Tao is open, inclusive, and undisturbed.

The Practice of RAIN (Recognize, Accept, Inquire, Nurture) 

Tim introduces the acronym RAIN:

• Recognize 

• Accept (or Allow) 

• Inquire 

• Nurture

Though often used in Buddhist contexts, he emphasizes that it is profoundly Taoist.

Recognize 

Simply notice what is present—anger, fear, grief—without suppressing or dramatizing it.

Accept

Acceptance is the feminine yielding power described throughout the Tao Te Ching and Zhuangzi. It is the valley of the universe—deep, receptive, non-judging.

Water is the primary Taoist metaphor. Water does not argue with rocks; it flows around them. Resisting emotion is like trying to stop a river with bare hands—it exhausts you.

We do not fight emotions, nor do we indulge them.

Inquire

Sometimes inquiry precedes full acceptance. Questions include:

• Where has my energy become blocked?

• Where has my qi coagulated?

• Am I trying to be something I’m not? 

This is not analytical problem-solving, but gently tracing the stream of energy back to its source.

Nurture 

Nurture the whole process. The Tao, as the great mother, nourishes everything without criticism. Earth does not fight fire; it absorbs and softens it.

RAIN is not linear—it is organic and fluid.

A Practical Example of RAIN in Relationship 

Tim shares the story of a man in his 60s who learned that his adult son viewed him as self-centered. He had no idea this perception existed. 

His process:

• Recognize: Feelings of dismay.

• Accept: Acknowledge the hurt.

• Inquire: Discover grief, confusion, and a deeper desire to love and learn.

• Nurture: Stop mentally quarreling (“How could this happen?”) and, instead, cultivate connection.

 The mental quarreling dissipates when one stops feeding it.

“This is what is.”

Seeing the Flower Before It Buds: Pain vs. Suffering

Tim describes walking along Minnehaha Creek as snow began melting and sap started flowing. Taoism teaches us to see the flower before it buds—to sense life stirring beneath appearances. 

Spiritual practice (meditation, Tai Chi, Qigong) cultivates patience and persistence. Through this, we learn the difference between:

• Pain – inevitable challenges, physical or emotional.

• Suffering – the story we add: “This shouldn’t happen.”

Resistance and narrative create suffering.

By shifting perspective and dropping the story, we lighten our experience.

We have remarkable influence over our internal response—but this requires practice. It is not personal ego-control; it is the Tao acting through us.

Perspective, Politics, and the Valley of the Universe 

Tim returns to the theme of opposites. A figure who feels obstructive and harmful to some is loved deeply by others. He references statements from Ivanka Trump expressing unwavering love for her father, even amidst controversy.

This illustrates Zhuangzi’s teaching:

Everything is both good and bad, useful and useless.

Reality includes both perspectives. The master stands beyond opposites—not denying differences, but seeing clearly without being captured by them.

In contemporary America, Tim observes what feels like two cultures in collision. Whether or not reconciliation seems possible, reality includes both.

Seeing “exactly as it is” includes acknowledging divisions without collapsing into them.

Perception and the Story We Add (The Dumpster Story) 

Tim recounts meeting his teacher in San Francisco. His teacher showed him a bag of fresh vegetables. Tim admired them—until the teacher said, “Only three days old,” revealing they were retrieved from a dumpster.

Instantly, perception shifted.

The vegetables had not changed. The story had.

This demonstrates how quickly conceptual overlay alters direct experience.

Meditation helps loosen the “little Tim point of view” and opens us to something wider.

Mantra, Mortality, and Kindness 

Tim describes mentoring a man with Alzheimer’s and lung cancer. The man was overwhelmed by worry for his children.

Together they formed a mantra:

“Suffering. Part of life. Kindness.”

Repeated gently, it became a way to meet fear without drowning in it.

Suffering is part of life. Kindness—especially toward oneself—is essential.

The Tao, as mother of all things, does not criticize us.

Two Cultures in Collision 

Tim reflects on contemporary political polarization as a clash of cultures. He wonders whether unresolved historical divisions still linger.

Yet Zhuangzi’s teaching remains:

The master stands beyond opposites.

Reality includes multiple worldviews. Seeing clearly does not mean agreeing; it means not being internally fractured by dualism.

Zen and the 1960s Counterculture: A Story from San Francisco

Tim recounts a fundraising “Zenefit” in 1960s San Francisco featuring:

• Big Brother and the Holding Company 

• Grateful Dead 

• Jefferson Airplane 

• Janis Joplin

His Zen teacher, Shunryu Suzuki, attended as guest of honor.

Amid strobe lights and psychedelic chaos, Suzuki initially thought, “Your way very different from ours.” After hearing Janis Joplin sing wholeheartedly, he revised his view:

“Not so different.”

Two cultures—Zen monastic order and 1960s counterculture—met and found unexpected resonance.

Tim suggests that perhaps even today’s polarized cultures may someday recognize shared humanity.

Flowing Like Water: Six Features of the Tao 

Tim closes with the metaphor of water, central to Taoist teaching:

1. Humility – Water seeks the lowest place.

2. Non-contention – It does not argue with obstacles.

3. Adaptability – It flows around barriers.

4. Persistence – Over time, it shapes stone.

5. Clarity – When still, it reflects accurately.

6. Life-giving nature – It nourishes without discrimination.

Humility is illustrated in a story of his Japanese teacher being mistaken for a window washer in affluent San Francisco. Rather than take offense, he laughed heartily. No rigid self-concept to defend.

Water does not cling to identity. It simply flows.

Central Teaching 

Everything in itself is both good and bad, right and wrong, useful and useless.

Through meditation and embodied practice, we loosen the grip of rigid perception. We recognize pain without manufacturing suffering. We meet division without being divided within.

We flow like water—humble, adaptive, persistent, and nourishing.

That is the valley of the universe moving through us.